Developmental Overview: Ages 15-18

Abstract thinking becomes more common with older teenagers. They’ll gravitate more to the “gray” areas between the “black-and-white” issues of their early years. They’ll also change their mind about the “grays” to suit their goals and wishes.
Older teenagers, such as those in this age range, expand their logic and reasoning abilities, although many still struggle to match their thinking abilities with their actions. Thus, a lot of kids will talk intelligently but then have trouble with planning.
Their thinking now considers the future. They can think and have thoughtful discussions about war, college, the economy, and their visions of what would make the world better.
Because older teenagers are more intellectually advanced than a child or younger teens, adults can have more back-and-forth conversations with them. They’re better able to understand other people’s points of views, and they’re more open to other perspectives and ideas.
Many older teenagers will use their new intellectual capacities as “logical weapons” against their parents. This has more to do with them separating from you. They’ll punch holes in your logic, and they’ll challenge you with thought-out reason.

Older teenagers typically look physically older than they are. Fifteen-year-olds can be mistaken for 21-year-olds, which is why some teenagers find themselves in troubling situations.
Since all kids go through five stages of puberty, you’ll continue to see older teenagers mature. Even during the high school years, you’ll notice teenagers maturing at different rates. This is normal, even if teenagers don’t feel like it is.
Most teenagers have trouble waking up in the morning. Part of this is because they stay up later. But part of it is biological. Older teenagers tend to shortchange sleep, which can hinder their development. Don’t be afraid to let them sleep until noon—or even until the middle of the afternoon—on weekends.
Teenagers still need healthy nutrition, but this is the time when parents typically have the least influence on how a teenager eats. Keep offering healthy food, but be patient. Modeling healthy eating habits often pays off in the long run, and be ready to answer questions about food and health. Even if teens are not eating the way you’d like them to, they are often curious about their bodies and nutrition.
If your child is not athletic, help her find a sport or physical activity she enjoys. At this age, kids who don’t excel athletically are tempted to avoid all physical activity. Modeling and talking about the importance of exercise can make an impact long term.

At this age, friendships and romance become more important while cliques become less so.
Older teenagers are less influenced by peer pressure. They’re more likely to seek out experts when they want to know or do something.
Teenagers are heavily influenced by their friends when it comes to clothing, styles, music, and fads.
Your child is more likely to seek out advice and help from a friend than from you.
A lot of teenagers pair off into couples. Dating becomes more pervasive, and some teens develop intense romantic relationships.
Older teenagers enjoy going to parties. Many like being with large groups of friends. Make sure your older teenager knows what to do at parties where alcohol or drugs are prevalent. Some teenagers can attend these parties without participating in these activities, while other teenagers are more susceptible.
Since many teenagers spend more time away than at home, make sure you know where your teenager is, who your teenager is with, and what your teenager plans to do. Encourage your teenager to update you if plans change.

Emotionally, teenagers don’t typically like physical affection from their parents. Many do, however, like a lot of physical affection from their friends.
Expect a lot of tension and conflict with your teenager, because your teenager is separating from you. The path to independence is rocky for both parents and older teenagers.
Some older teenagers will go anywhere—except where their parents are. Be patient with this. Typically kids will draw closer to parents once they leave home. Once they’ve experienced “true independence,” they discover that their parents aren’t as idiotic as they thought when they were older teenagers.
Monitor your teenager’s emotional states. Most have an emotional state that they’re most comfortable with. Some are easygoing. Some get angry easily. Others get depressed. Intervene if emotions are overwhelming your older teenager.
Some teenagers will give you the silent treatment when they become angry—or if they don’t get their way. Give them time to simmer down. They’ll talk to you again (usually when they need something from you).
Some kids begin dabbling in more serious risk behaviors (such as self-harm, drinking alcohol, trying drugs, and having sex). Help kids steer clear of these behaviors. Talk with them about what they’re experiencing—and what they’re seeing going on with their peers. Some are struggling with difficult issues.

Older teenagers begin to make choices about where intentional spiritual practices fit (or don’t fit) in their lives.
Many become clearer about the activities and things that bring joy and energy in life, including a sense of vocation.
Children begin to internalize personal beliefs and practices, which may be similar to or different from those of their parents and their friends.
Kids can develop strong convictions regarding social and political change. They may become deeply committed to service and social change. Some may even become activists for causes they believe in.
Your children are more aware of different spiritual and religious traditions. Those who are interested in this area often will seek to understand different forms of spirituality.

Ages & Stages